Tales of the Parodyverse

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L!
Sat Jul 22, 2006 at 09:00:31 pm EDT
Subject
My Contribution to The Lair Legion Barbecue Round Robin
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In the dark recesses of the Lair Legion Mansion's basement, There is a room, a file room. The room is littered with papers, Books, file folders (both filled & unfilled). Also there were boxes of files, book cases filled with books, files, filling cabinets & other things of that sort. The man mostly in the room is Lee Bookman, a sometimes rogue IOL Librarian & Associate Member of the Lair Legion. He is also their unofficial record keeper at the moment.

He is standing in front of a couple double sided Chalkboards on wheels. Practically every piece of available space is filled. Filled with what? All the info Lee has one what he's has dubbed "His Anomalies": Chad & Ronnie. Also on his boards are questions & speculations. One this particular day, Lee was writing down suspected appearances of people matching the duo's & sometime during his mid 19th century notation, Lee saw pairs of legs go past his one & only window. He runs over to the window & looks out. The Island is being invaded! But, this invasion isn't a forceful one & appears to not be related to the Parody Master. Lee sees people with lawn chairs, coolers & other party equipment. A few feet away from Lee's window lookout, he sees a few people setting up a couple barbecues. Lee wonders who would let such chaos reign? Then, one word comes to mind & with some malice he says "Foxglove!"

Then, another though hits him like a MAC truck. He stares at his boards & utters "Oh no!" He then starts to shake his head no. "No! No! They can't be coming here. I can't let them see the boards!" Lee mutters amongst other things.

Lee runs over to the far wall. He pushes boxes, books & other papers hastily away from a red button. He presses it, He's glad & let's out a small sigh of relief. All through out the Mansion, Sirens, alarms & flashing red lights were now going off.

Dancer, holding her hands over her ears, asks Hatman "What's going on? Is the Parody Master attacking us now?"

"WHAT?" Hatman yelled. He also had his hands over his ears.

"I SAID IS.." Dancer began to say but was interrupted by Donar ripping one of the flashing red lights out the ceiling. He then punched his fist through the nearest wall, then the sirens & alarms stopped.

"Yon Sirens wast making mine head hurt likest only the Night of the 12 Meads festival back in yon Ausgard canst do!" The Demigod said & wondered of to find a flagon of mead.

"I said: Is the Parody Master attacking us now?" Dancer asked again, but at a normal level.

"No. At least, I don't think so. The siren pattern for that would have more Bee-Boop's & a couple Wiki-Wiki's to it." Hatman said.

He then walked into the Living Room & pulled a manual off a shelf. Trickshot was past out on a couch. Dancer walked in & Hatman said. "According to the manual, the alarm that went off was to warn us of the Approach of the Anomalies, what even that means?" Hatman said, then closed the book & placed the book back on the shelf.

"Approach of the Anomalies? Is that that a Mumph thing?" Dancer asked.

"No. It's a Bookworm thing." Trickshot said drunkenly. He lifted himself up a bit to look at the the two of them. "At the last Legion picnic, I was talking to the nerd & he was telling me about these dudes that have gotten his panties all in a bunch. According to his research:" Tricky said, he paused (He'd thrown up a bit in his mouth). Then, continued. "They don't exist, but they yet do. Also apparently they've broken into the mansion a couple of times to freak the crap of him."

Tricky then plopped back down again & passed out again. Hatty & Dancer left him to find who set off the alarm. They found Lee in the hallway, near the stairs to the basement.

"Why aren't the sirens going off? Did you catch them already?" Lee said. It looked like he hadn't slept or taken any time for personal hygiene in a couple of days.

"No. Donar took a direct method of stopping them, the alarms at least. Now, according to Trickshot, you've been menaced by a two people recently?" Hatman asked with some concern & some puzzlement. He didn't even think Lee was at the Mansion or even on Earth, He last heard Lee was off dealing with some IOL problems. Hatty guesses he must of returned.

"Yes. And they'll come here! They are like moths to a flame: any party we have, they show up at. It's a fact! I have graphs, photographs & others data to back me up!" Lee said franticly as he waved various pieces of paper around.

"Calm down, Lee. It's going to be alright." Dancer said in calming tone. "Those nasty Anomalies aren't joining to hurt you."

Lee did seem to calm down.

"Let's get you some Potato Salad." Dancer said as she put her arm around him & they walked out of the Mansion to join the party.

"I like Potato Salad." Lee said.

Hatman was left alone in the hallway. After a few moments of looking around, he headed out to the party. He had a Barbecue to man.

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Across town, there was a small group of people. They were Chadwick L. Swiss, Ronald Arnold Gerrimoto Beeslyhuxtoy, Jane Tarzania & Catherine Gillespie. Also there is Ronnie's hamster companion, Little Cat.

"Hey, Ronnie?" Jane asked. She was looking at a poster on a telephone pole.

"Yes?"

"There is this party being put on by the Lair Legion..." Jane said & then was interrupted by Ronnie.

"Ok?"

"It's at their Mansion. So, should we head over there? Maybe Mr. Know-it-All will be there?" She asked with some glee.

"I assume he will be. But, No. We will not be going to the party. I said we were going for Waffles & that's what were going to do. Plus, the Lair Legion Mansion is totally out of our way. And I doubt they'll have Waffles like the Waffles were going after!" Ronnie said with a sly look on his face.

Jane didn't reply & the group continued on with their journey for Waffles.

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The end of this part. The Round Robin to be continued by.... Mike? Ian? Scott? Sarah? Al B.?



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